Momma loves Poppa

Ella- being a parent isn't always easy. As much as the movies and books will have you believe that its all sunshine and cupcakes, the truth is as many beautiful moments there are, caring for and raising a new life is a BIG responsibility. It is one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences one will ever be gifted with. And with such responsibility, there is a lot of adjusting and lack of sleep. When I first found out I was carrying you, almost a year ago, I was scared. Not because I didn't want you, but because I didn't know what to expect. All the books you read, the videos you watch and the advice you receive, cannot prepare you for what its like. Words cannot do justice to the way my heart melted when I first met you, when I first held you, finally, after so long to meet you. The nurses are angels sent from above, they will never receive enough praise for the work they do. They guide bewildered mothers down their new path, preparing us for whats to come, letting us get our final night of rest for the road ahead. They bundle up our little precious packages for the journey, slowly unraveling over time.

One thing nobody told me about was the dynamic change that would take place between Poppa and I. Some would consider having a child the biggest test between two new parents. Theres the lack of sleep, the uncertainty of it all, it can be a lot at once. I worried so much that I was doing something wrong. The book didn't say anything about this or that. Yet, no matter how many times I would be short or downright mean to daddy, he stuck it thru with me. He never left my side, our side. He would always say it would get better, it would be ok, and you know what? As much as I hated to admit it, it was. I don't always have the best temper and i'm quick to dismiss things, but Poppa has the patience of a saint. And you know what, he makes me laugh...a lot! Just last night we were at The Container Store (exciting, I know), and he had me running down the aisles laughing like a banshee.  I used to have a nickname as a little girl, pulga. Which in spanish translates to flea, haha. Because I used to, and I still do have the tendency to ask a ton of questions all at once and just downright bug! But daddy never snaps at me or brushes me off, he always answers my silly questions and plays right along with me. He holds my hands when i'm scared and makes me feel beautiful everyday.

When I met Poppa I was a wild child with no direction or real responsibility. But there was something he liked about me because he stuck around. And he started making me realize somethings about myself that I didn't want to, and I fought it tooth and nail. But i'm so thankful that sensible daddy came along and into my life. He was the stability that crazy me needed. He was what I was looking for all along but running away from all at once. We're not all without our faults. Sometimes it takes a great person coming into your life to make you realize you were only halfway living life.

Everyday I spend with Poppa I find something new to like and love. He likes his triple espresso, but if its coffee, add 3 cream and 3 sugar. He's got a sweet tooth but he'll pass on the eggs. Sushi is best with Yuzu, salt and lemon. Poppa is a walking encyclopedia full of facts and I have yet to stump him. I can't wait to see you two together, I can imagine the conversations to be had over tea time. I know you're going to be a daddy's girl, I already see the way you hang on him and pull at his beard. The love between father and daughter is so precious, and sadly some little girls don't get that. But I know daddy will be right there by your side playing dress up and building forts, going on trips and adventures, its already happening. I'm so happy that you have someone so amazing as a father. He loves to show you off, you're his greatest accomplishment. I always promised myself to give you everything I didn't, a beautiful childhood, an amazing father, a full life. I told daddy last night that were already doing better than what I had. 


I know one day a long, long, long time from now, you'll find a love of your own and I hope when you do he is every bit as amazing as Poppa. I can't help but cry at the idea, but I find solace in the fact that its so far from now, I can hardly fathom the idea. 


Love you always EllaBear, Momma